[ART] The Birthday Shark

This weekend just past being the birthday of a chum and all-round good egg and well-travelled shark enthusiast, I have whipped up A SHARK for them.

Not a real shark because I lack the capacity for actually constructing animals from the ether, but here’s a vector drawing of a black-tipped reef shark.

And here it is on Redbubble just in case anyone has a pressing need to own a shark.

(If you don’t need to own a shark but have an urge to give me money)

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

[ART] Barracks Brawl

This would have been even quicker if my Wacom and Photoshop hadn’t developed lag issues that refuse to resolve ever since Windows 10 insisted on being updated! Thanks, Windows, I really appreciate your dedication to Not Working.

Based on a staged photo of a “fight” taken in 1961 in the Horse Guards barracks…

The pink is available here and here, and the grey (with a transparent back) is available here, on a variety of products. I’m eating Finnish soft liquorice (thanks to a Helsinki-based friend who came to experience just how bad British public-use ice skates are first-hand! To the tune of David Bowie night at my local rink), and reading an absolutely insufferable book. I hope everyone else’s tedious, dreary Dry/Vegan Januaries are beginning to brighten.

[ART] Encounter at the Museum

In addition to the following I have also been recording a somewhat lo-fi radio show, but I’ve hidden that elsewhere on the internet.

This handsome devil is usually located in Room 1, or as I like to think of it “the preview room”, at the British Museum. The newsprint shading effect probably caused more problems than any other single part of this picture put together.

It is available on various items on Redbubble and on PAOM.

Merry Belated and Boxing Day

Hello, I’ve written another book which is now sitting in the dusty drawer marked “I don’t want to edit anything oh God” for a little while now as I enjoy my general Christmassing and New Yearishness trying to speed-read some very large books which I foolishly got out of the library without realising that I am not blessed with quite the amount of free time I had at 16.

I did however find the time to finish a long-term project that’s been chugging away forever:

Old Compton Street

And this kind of reasonably speedy colour job of a friend:

Lucian (Portrait of an Artist)

I hope everyone else had similarly pleasant seasonal periods, whether they were celebrating or not.

London Riverside

The last few touches are being gently hammered out with a brick on publication of Heavy, but in the meantime, here is a lovely digital artwork of the Eastern end of the Thames in London, which took me absolute months and made Photoshop shit itself more times than I care to swear about.

If you’d like to see it at a larger size (and I advise that), go here and also look at the stuff you can buy it on, because I have to go and pay someone to drill more holes in my wretched teeth and my bank account is crying.

[ART] Bloomsbury Colouring Book.

And by “book” I mean “page”.

Phew, look at that. It’s summer! The sky is full of SCREAMING BIRDS and the sun has found the one part of my body I didn’t aggressively spray with Factor 50, and it has burnt it. My mouth, it has burnt my actual mouth, which is what happens when you and your idiot friends decide to go and feed parakeets but you also really feel the need to drink two bottles of wine and half a bottle of gin, break your flipflop and also give yourself a grass rash that makes you look like you’ve lost a fight to an entire battalion of angry domestic cats.

So while the world catches fire, blows itself up, crashes down around my ears, and murders people with vans outside my friend’s flat (ah, London in 2017: an endless roulette of “oh shit what particular area of my city has become a trending hashtag on Twitter today?”, and that is why I am not going to get very far on giving up drinking this year…), I’m gamely trying to squeeze as much fun as I can out of whatever time I have left on this terrify earth. Tom of Finland documentaries, live broadcasts of sad plays about AIDS, panel talks about London history, and a punishing amount of fruity cocktails feature in my near future, always assuming that we don’t get hit by an asteroid or anything (the way this year is going that’s a possibility).

Also, making art, because that’s what you do in times of strife. Admittedly, I think you’re meant to make political art, but sometimes you also need to colour in a cityscape, right?


You can buy this on a whole bunch of stuff.

Or you could, I guess, print it out and colour it in. I mean, it does look like you ought to be able to. Although ideally I’d prefer it if you bought it on something and thus funded my extravagant lifestyle of going to £12 panel talks about Peter Ackroyd books like the London-obsessed gay nerd we are all very, very aware that I am.

Thank you.

Dinnertime

“Aren’t you meant to be plotting a novel right now?”

Shhhhhh.

“Don’t you have a manuscript to edit?”

I just finished a pass, let me have five minutes.

“You’ve had rather more than f–”

Shhhhhh.

I made an art. You can buy prints, if you are absolutely desperate to own a print of a bowl of rice rather than an actual bowl of rice. Personally, I would rather have the rice, but I’m very hungry. This particular rice was consumed after an exhaustive examination of the Tate Britain’s long-awaited & hotly-anticipated Queer British Art: 1861 – 1967. I should probably have an opinion on that, on here, at length, but to be honest I feel that drawing a bowl of rice is less contentious and contributes more to the world than me bellyaching about minor details in what is, regardless of my fussing and personal preferences, a splendid step in the right direction regarding the inclusion of queer history.