Recipe: Protein Cake

Don’t worry, I won’t harp on too much about the fact that I’ve just released a book before I get down to the important business of boring everyone rigid with weird food concoctions. But I have and it’s dead good.

Followers of the blog will be startled to learn that this is not yet another Huel experiment. Nor is it further adventures in tiny food, weird inventions, foods for the cooking-incapable, or sneaky ways of smuggling more vegetables into the diet of the vegetable-phobic.


This is a cake. The recipe I am about to provide is, as always, balls simple, and gives you one serving. What is unusual about this cake is that it contains almost fuck all carbohydrates and a lot of protein, which is not the usual nutritional profile for cake.


  • 25 g, Diet Whey Strawberry by PHD (1 scoop)
  • 1 egg. In order to reduce the cholesterol and fat in this cake, it is likely (I haven’t tested this yet) that it can be made with a same-size portion of liquid egg whites.
  • 15 ml Skimmed Milk (1 tbsp)
  • 1 tsp olive oil
  • 1 tsp (3g) White Flour
  • 1/2 tsp xanthum gum
  • 1/2 tsp baking powder


  • Mixing spoon
  • Mixing bowl. I was a turd and used the same silicon baking receptacle I baked it in because washing up.
  • Scale, probably.
  • Oven


  1. Pre-heat your oven to 180C because that’s cake-cooking temperature.
  2. Mix the milk into the whey powder. It will get claggy.
  3. Mix the oil in. More claggy.
  4. Add the xanthum gum and baking powder.
  5. Slowly add the mixed egg until you have something more pastelike.
  6. Sift over the flour and keep mixing until you have a thick , stiff paste.
  7. Make some attempt to shape this as whatever you leave it as, it will bake into that shape.
  8. Put it in the oven for between 15 and 25 minutes.
  9. Enjoy your delicious, strawberry-flavoured bread-cake thing that contains an assload of protein.

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