Recipe: Drunk Jerk Cake

“Why the hell is it called that?”

Well, listen. I don’t think it qualifies as bread because there’s no yeast in it, and it’s actually made from the base of that brownie recipe that does everything, so it’s a cake. And it’s got cider in it, so I decided to be whimsical. And it’s got jerk in it, so jerk. And “Drunk Jerk Cake” sounded better than “leftovers and booze bread” to me.

This is … probably not to be undertaken drunk, but is a good way of using up crap you have around.

Ingredients

135g wholemeal flour (Can use plain, probably should use plain, I just used wholemeal because I’m fucked if I’m ever going to use it for anything else and it was taking up space)
12.5g jerk seasoning/smoked paprika (about half and half)
a bit of dried rosemary
62.5g butter
1 egg
50ml cider (which gives you the rest of the can to drink) – note to Americans, this means “hard” cider.
25g peanut butter
50g tomatoes (I used a mixture of sundried and fresh because that’s what I had), you could instead do 25/25 of sundried and olives, or whatever, really.

Method

  1. Preheat oven to 180C
  2. Rub butter into flour/spice mixture. Do this with your hands. Rub it in and keep rubbing it in until it has a texture like breadcrumbs. NB: This is gross and you will get stuff under your fingernails and then when you wash your hands you will look like you have a skin disease.
  3. Mix in the egg using a huge wooden spoon/spatula. It’s easiest if you stick the bowl under your arm like you’re in a nursery rhyme. Great workout, bloody exhausting. Helps if you sing something inane while you’re doing it.
  4. 4. Now mix in the peanut butter. Thought your arm hurt before? We’re not even started.
  5. Mix in the cider. Enjoy getting splashes all over you. Enjoy the gross noises it makes.
  6. Mix in your tomatoes, olives, whatever you’re using for variety. Keep mixing. Admire your biceps.
  7. Scrape the tough stuff into your 3 ramekins or whatever you’re cooking it in. Try to flatten it out a bit.
  8. Put ramekins on a tray and put them in the oven for 45 minutes.

Do not be alarmed by the foam of cider bubbling at the top, by 45 minutes it should definitely be done. If it sounds like a weird thing to eat, do not panic. No one has to know you ate this.

Photo not by J. Reilly this time, which explains the poor quality.
Photo not by J. Reilly this time, which explains the poor quality.
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