Recipe: Possibly A Kind Of Soup Thing.

I don’t really follow recipes very much, and just have a mental catalogue of “this is how to make acceptable food happen out of one pot” ideas which usually ends up in elaborate and expensive gumbo (did you know that adding rice to the mix to soak up the sauce means that when the leftovers go cold you can make them into burritos? It is possibly a crime against humanity but it’s very tasty) or variations on pasta sauce. This time it was soup.

I’m warning you now, this contained a MAGIC INGREDIENT.

Serves three, has the exciting name “sinus-clearing soup”.

Ingredients (non-magic)

  • 360g braising beef steak, diced
  • 1 potato, diced
  • 1 carrot, chopped
  • 1 stalk of celery, chopped
  • 2 cloves of garlic, chopped
  • 150g button mushrooms, larger ones chopped
  • 1 onion, diced
  • 170g butternut squash, diced
  • 1 gel beef stock pot
  • 1 tbsp ghee
  • about three handfuls of jerk seasoning
  • 600ml water

Ingredients (magic)

  • Leftover noodle broth (approx 250ml) containing:
  1. Another gel beef stock pot, dissolved
  2. 2 tsp of a mix of spices I did myself some time ago which contains garam massala, cinnamon, paprika, ground chilli, celery salt, tumeric, and a bit of cocoa. In what proportions I cannot tell you.
  3. A sachet of noodle flavouring (chicken) which most likely involves chicken stock, monosodium glutimate, dehyrdrated carrot chunks, salt, unidentified green bits.


  1. Melt the ghee in massive pot.
  2. Vigorously rub literal handfuls of jerk seasoning into the diced beef, sling the beef in the pot.
  3. Add the onion, then garlic.
  4. Beef should be pretty brown now. Celery and mushroom goes in the pot. Personally I like to chop/dice things as I’m going along because it provides a natural pause to allow things to cook more but I hear other people like precision.
  5. When that’s looking fairly cooked sling in the squash.
  6. Carrot, potato, and the magic.
  7. Add the stock gel.
  8. Add the water.
  9. Bring to the boil, angrily hitting the pan when the laws of physics dictate that the bastard thing isn’t coming to the boil fast enough. At this point eating raw peas out of the pod and swearing at the cooker are both entirely acceptable ways to try to bend universal laws to the will of your growling stomach.
  10. Simmer for about 15-20 minutes.

What you should end up with is a beef broth with a serious sheen of fat floating on the top. DO NOT SKIM THE FAT, YOU GIANT FOOL. 1 serving amounts to about 450 calories and that is a decent-sized meal. Taste it: it should taste of FIRE and MEAT. If it doesn’t make your nose run you have probably been stingy with the jerk seasoning and you deserve to go to hell. If it doesn’t taste of SERIOUS MEAT you only put one stock pot in and should be stationed under a demon cow herd in hell. Or just an ordinary cow herd, I’ve lived by a dairy farm and frankly normal Frisians are enough.


Why not substitute pretend!meat protein for the braising steak and vegetable stock for the beef stock pots? The outcome should still be okay because of glorious ghee.


3 thoughts on “Recipe: Possibly A Kind Of Soup Thing.

  1. I just want to say that I think it’s pretty cool that you’re “swearing domesticity.” I’ve fallen down that hole lately and, while I’ve always been a pretty enthusiastic cook, really I just want to hang out and bake stuff and maybe also cook when hungry.

    For this soup, I’d just throw beans in it and use vegan cream cheese instead of ghee. That stuff is versatile.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.